Someone that wasn’t in my life.

I honestly don’t know why I’m writing this. I know he will never ever read this so that’s one reason and I just want to get all my feelings out.

I grew up with two older siblings (way older) and my mother who has been both Mom & Dad in my life.

I never once have asked my mom any questions about him. I never truly missed him because I never had any memory of him. My mother has been both the best mom and dad. I don’t even know the story behind it all.

Why he’s not in our lives? Why he left? I have no idea and honestly I don’t want to know.

But, once I had kids something inside just made me ask so many questions.

What if he was in my life? What if he was more in my kids life’s? Why has he never cared? What if he walked me down the aisle? Why has he never called? Why hasn’t he ever visited?

Having kids, and seeing my husband and my father in law with my kids has made me question so many things and desire my father to be in my life like my husband is with my kids or my father in law is with my kids and then I think why am I caring and wondering so much if he has never cared in my 25 years of life. He’s never spent a birthday with me, or even called or sent a nice letter. Why am I going to make the effort, I never did  anything to him?

(I didn’t think writing this would make me emotional) 😦

Something in my heart hurts and loves every time my husband has such a loving bond with our kids, especially our daughter. Its the most beautiful thing and makes me so emotional every time.

In the end, I’m so thankful that my son and my daughter have an amazing father that is 100% in there lives, who is loving, a great example and I know always will be there for them no matter what and they have an incredible Grandpa who has been the best Grandpa to them and they don’t need more.

 

This is Daddy with our kids.

 

I love my mom so much and I am so incredibly thankful for everything she’s done in our lives. For my sister, my brother and I. She’s always put 100% in everything to make sure we succeed, she’s done an amazing job of being a mother and a father. I’ll be forever grateful for her love, her hard work, her comfort, her discipline and everything else she’s done and given to us. She’s an amazing women all in all.

This Our Mother with the 3 of us.

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I just needed to get these words out….

 

 

 

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Someone that wasn’t in my life.

  1. God has a purpose for everything in your life. I can’t say from experience, but I can say from what I see, that your mom is an awesome woman for raising you up to be a great daughter, mother and friend. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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